Venting is important.
It is cathartic.
It allows us to come to grips with what is bothering us.
I need to vent.
The problem is that the best time to vent coincides with the worst time to vent. Venting feels the best when it is immediate. It provides instant gratification. It lets us exhaust as much baggage as possible, in as short a time as possible. It is an orgasm from the soul resulting from an emotion hate fuck.
And we end up saying things that we don’t mean. Things that are irrational and just plain rude come out. We use words that are not normally a part of our vocabulary. We state opinions about people that come from irresponsibility in judgement.
Then we’re much better. At least, those of us that want to be are. Because venting is letting go of emotional baggage we didn’t want to hold on to in the first place. It is tearing down the damn we understand should never have been built.
The question arises, in my case, of who there is with which to vent. Typically it is a family member, friend, or lover that carries the burden. Those people are often in the same circle that includes the person which the venting is about. That carries its own responsibility and decorum. You have to be sure to vent to the person whom tomorrow won’t be caught saying, “Yeah, he called you that.”
One fix is that if you wait a while to vent, you are less likely to call them that. The longer you wait the less powerful the venting and the less apt you are to get lost in the moment. And the less exhausted you will feel when you’re done.
And the less it will feel good. If you wait too long, it will begin to feel bad. It should, anyway. When you vent about something that happened a week ago, it begins to sound bitter. If it was a month ago, you’re just bitching. If it was a year or more ago, you need to have dealt with it already, get the fuck on with your life.
More goes into venting that we think, but they are things of which we need to think. What is the problem we are venting about? Who else does this problem affect. How are other people affected. What is the relationship with the person whom the vent is about?
How much does it really matter?
In the grand scheme of things?