On Venting

Venting is important.

It is cathartic.

It allows us to come to grips with what is bothering us.

I need to vent.

The problem is that the best time to vent coincides with the worst time to vent. Venting feels the best when it is immediate. It provides instant gratification. It lets us exhaust as much baggage as possible, in as short a time as possible. It is an orgasm from the soul resulting from an emotion hate fuck.

And we end  up saying things that we don’t mean. Things that are irrational and just plain rude come out. We use words that are not normally a part of our vocabulary. We state opinions about people that come from irresponsibility in judgement.

Then we’re much better. At least, those of us that want to be are. Because venting is letting go of emotional baggage we didn’t want to hold on to in the first place. It is tearing down the damn we understand should never have been built.

The question arises, in my case, of who there is with which to vent. Typically it is a family member, friend, or lover that carries the burden. Those people are often in the same circle that includes the person which the venting is about. That carries its own responsibility and decorum. You have to be sure to vent to the person whom tomorrow won’t be caught saying, “Yeah, he called you that.”

One fix is that if you wait a while to vent, you are less likely to call them that. The longer you wait the less powerful the venting and the less apt you are to get lost in the moment. And the less exhausted you will feel when you’re done.

And the less it will feel good. If you wait too long, it will begin to feel bad. It should, anyway. When you vent about something that happened a week ago, it begins to sound bitter. If it was a month ago, you’re just bitching. If it was a year or more ago, you need to have dealt with it already, get the fuck on with your life.

More goes into venting that we think, but they are things of which we need to think. What is the problem we are venting about? Who else does this problem affect. How are other people affected. What is the relationship with the person whom the vent is about?

How much does it really matter?

In the grand scheme of things?


1 Comment

Filed under Life, Ranting

One response to “On Venting

  1. Vent: a means of escape or release from confinement; an outlet.

    How much does it really matter? In the grand scheme of things?

    Venting is a very important action that we all must actively embark on to set our mind and emotions at ease regardless of where we like it or not. Unfornately, as you pointed out, whom to vent to being the question. So here is my theory…

    If ever I felt someone needed to vent regarding my behavior or words than I would respect that person’s honesty to vent straight to me. I would never want someone I care about to feel confined in anyway. Relationships and friendships which remain whole and pure suffer many trials big and small but overcome them due to two people who respect and trust one another enough to attempt to see the world through each other’s eyes even in hurtful situations. If I were venting straight to the person to which the vent was about, I would be less likely to look this person in the eyes, that I care enough for to even spend my anger on, and “call them that”. By doing this, not only will it cut back on the time in which I hold the emotion inside but it would also remove the middle man which can only create more tension and worry wondering if this person will repeat the words I needed to release. If someone vented regarding me and the middle man felt the desire to share this with me, I would feel more hurt by the fact that the person I am involved with, in whatever type of relationship, questioned my ability to be trusted with their emotions than I would to find out that this person “called me that”. In the grand scheme of things, it does matter. Anything that involves the emotions of ourselves and the people we choose to surround ourselves with matters.

    I do realize that my views on relationships and friendships are very unrealistic and that honesty and trust are two extremely high expectations. These opinions only evolve from my journey to find and create friendships and relationships to which are raw and pure. In every possible situation I stand behind words that I say too often…If you have something to say, say it. If you have a question, ask it.

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